These Vampires Suck

I had never seen The Lost Boys until now.  It is certainly a movie that I had heard of, and I had always wanted to see it because I had heard from people that it shows vampires as scary and not sparkly.  Unfortunately, due to some glaring problems with characters and dialogue, I found the movie to be decent at best.

The Lost Boys is the story of a mother and her two sons who move to Santa Carla, and then find out that vampires live in the area.  The movie is well acted and well directed (which I will get to later).  However, a good chunk of the dialogue is confusing and downright awful.  For example, one moment Michael is eating maggots and worms, and then out of nowhere he is eating regular rice and noodles.  This is never elaborated on or explained properly.  Also, how does Michael inexplicably know David's name?  It is not as if David introduced himself to anybody....ever.  My biggest problem with The Lost Boys is the dialogue, specifically from the characters of Sam and Edgar and Alan Frog.
The dialogue is so cheesy and silly that you cannot even take the characters seriously.  The writers made a poor attempt at providing comic relief, and instead left me rolling my eyes.  For example, when Sam finds out that Michael is a vampire he says, "Wait until Mom finds out!".  Yeah, as if Mom is going to be able to do anything about it.  You cannot cure vampire, kid.  I also find it ironic that Sam is into superheroes, more specifically Batman, because Joel Schumacher would go on to direct (and later destroy) the Batman movie series.

Joel Schumacher is the director of The Lost Boys.  I am going to be the wildly unpopular film fan and say that I think Schumacher is a decent director.  There are some things he does very well, and there are some things he does horribly.  I love the way this movie is filmed.  All of the nighttime sequences are so dark, as they should be, but in a beautiful way.  Also, at the beginning of the movie, there are many shots that show the kind of town that the family is moving to which help us as the audience understand that this place may not be the best for them.  There is a bike chase early in the movie that is exciting to watch.  The action towards the end of the film is shot well, too.  It was thrilling to see all of the different ways in which the vampires are killed.

The Lost Boys portrays vampires the way they are meant to be.  What keeps this movie from being great is the writing.  The dialogue is so bad at times that I just wanted to puke.  Other than that, this movie is quite enjoyable.

 

Sweaty Nerd Fandom: Part 2

I was thirteen years old when Batman and Robin was released in theaters in 1997.  At that age, I did not have the love and appreciation for movies that I do today.  I was more concerned with the fact that I was seeing my first Batman movie in theaters.  Seventeen years ago, I thought the movie was awesome.  Today, I appreciate it for the glorious toilet bug that it is.

The lack of ingenuity of the writing in this movie astounds me.  Akiva Goldsman must have thought he was writing a cartoon because Mr.  Freeze says 27 "ice puns" in the entire movie.  This is the same writer who, four years later, would win the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay for A Beautiful Mind, which is a far superior movie to say the least.  The sad thing is that the exposition, when it is there, is very good.  The banter between George Clooney is exceptional.  Also, the scenes that George Clooney and Michael Gough are very good. Unfortunately, all these scenes are just put in the wrong places and there's not enough of it.

I'm as much an Arnold Schwarzenegger as any other man who grew up in the 80's and 90's.  However, he is hugely miscast in the role of Mr. Freeze.  Why would you cast a former bodybuilder as an elderly frail scientist?!

I will actually defend George Clooney in this movie as far as being Bruce Wayne.  He did a decent job considering what he had to work with.  As far as being Batman goes, you didn't even alter your voice in any way?  Come on!

I do believe Chris O'Donnell is the best cast person in this movie.  He brings a certain attitude to the character of Dick Grayson/Robin that plays well against George Clooney.  Although it is a shame that we never get to officially see Nightwing in these movies, there are some nice nods to it in Chris O'Donnell's costume in this movie.

Alicia Silverstone is also horribly miscast in the role of Batgirl.  Please note: In the comics,  Batgirl's real name is Barbara Gordon not Barbara Wilson.  In the comics, Batgirl is a computer genius.  However in this movie all she does is come off as a valley girl who attempts to be a badass.  How does being the lead in Clueless make you a prime candidate for Batgirl?!

I actually like Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy, dialogue aside.  In the comics, Poison Ivy is a very gorgeous woman, and Uma Thurman personifies that perfectly.  It's just too bad she says out loud all her exposition so we already know what she is going to do.

I honestly do not think that Joel Schumacher should take all of the blame for this movie.  There are a couple of action sequences that are particularly well done, and as I said the exposition is good.  I have seen The Number 23 directed by Joel Schumacher and I think it is very good.  I do not think Joel Schumacher is a bad director.  I just think he should stay away from movies that are based on comic books.

When I think of bad movies, Batman and Robin is near the top of the list.  Many people bash this movie, and rightfully so.  However without the pile of garbage that is Batman and Robin, there would be no Batman Begins.  Thank Odin for Christopher Nolan.