Dude, What The Hell Did I Just Watch?

I had never seen Dude, Where's My Car before and it is probably best that I never watched it at all.  The funny thing is, I had a gut feeling that I was going to hate it.  Dude, Where's My Car is so monumentally bad that it makes you want to watch an awesome movie immediately afterward.

Dude, Where's My Car is the story of two stoners who wake up after a night of partying and cannot remember what happened. To begin with, the transitions are just god-awful and make no sense.  Plus, if Jesse and Chester are so dumb, how the hell do they know how to speak Japanese?  Also, they have a dog that smokes weed?  Really?  You want to know what is dumber than that?  At one point they think their dog is dead.  Well, in one shot the dog's eyes are closed and in the next shot they are open!!  That is just terrible editing.  Also, saying variations of the same phrase over and over again is NOT....I repeat...NOT FUNNY!!!  The jokes are not funny, one of the character's voices sounds dubbed, and the twins do not even look like twins.  Their bird dies too, although we never actually see how.  There is also an awful music video in the movie, and there are labels that introduce every new character.  Also, having a blind kid swing at a baseball all by his lonesome is not funny.  It is very, very stupid.  Oh, and there is this group of gorgeous women who are looking for Jesse and Chester but every time they find them, they leave.  WHAT?!  Finally, Fabio's girlfriend from earlier in the movie attacks them at the very end which made absolutely no sense at all.

Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott play Jesse and Chester, respectively.  I have never been a fan of Kutcher, and this movie reminds me of that.  Both actors are clearly trying way too hard to be funny.  They end up coming off very stale.  I guarantee you that the only ones who think they are funny are themselves.

Danny Leiner is the director of Dude, Where's My Car.  I am not sure what was going on in his head, but it clearly was not much at all.  There is no story to this movie at all.  It is just a jumbled, garbled mess.

Dude, Where's My Car is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.  It is a metaphorical punch to the brain for 80 minutes.  I cannot and will not recommend this movie to anyone.  Ever.